So Much Nothing

Between the times of when I last wrote anything down here and now, life continues, but really, it stays on pause. I feel tired tonight, and, whatever.
I also love the opportunity to have a crush, even when, no, especially when, it is so very inappropriate.

Easter

I remember really liking Easter as a kid, because I got to look for my Easter basket, and it would sometimes have a cool toy in it.
I know it is corny, but, it was fun.
Now, my Easter eggs are probably just self-discovery. But, see, some of the things in learning about yourself just aren't pleasant.
Thankfully, though, my Easter basket didn't contain issues of self-destruction or self-doubt, unless those little yellow peeps were meant to symbolize that. I had better ask my mom.

The Tail Gate Guy

Before you think I'm going to get on my high horse about somebody tailgating me, and me getting all bent out of shape, that's not what I'm going to gripe about.
I was driving to work this morning, and heading down one of the many surface streets I need to use to get to the freeway. I wasn't very close to him, but he kept slowing down further, and I'd end up closer, at least for a moment when he'd slow down, and then he started waving his hands around as if I were really riding his backside.
Now, I wasn't. Not in the amount where you'd think, 'hey, that guy's too close to me!'.
I guess we're all really edgy at times. Maybe we're all more edgy generally. Maybe the pace of life has gotten so that even the little infractions seem really bad.
I mean, I could see myself doing the same thing if I were in his shoes. And it so often has to do with driving, doesn't it? I'm sure there's some deeply profound reason for that, but, let's just keep at it, we get pissy about driving.
And he did.

Something

Yeah, ok, so I haven't been posting a lot lately. Too friggin' tired.
I've been putting extra time at work. You know, the whole, maybe my efforts won't go unnoticed, and I'll get the bump up. I have to find some time to study. I have an exam on Friday. Exciting insurance exam. Exciting exam of insurance crap. Wooo. I should, in theory, know this stuff... it is the basic, intro course material, and god knows I've been doing this long enough that I better know, um, I don't know, what liability coverage is versus workers compensation.
So, I'll fuss more later. After I've taken the test.

Scary Boogeymen

It is all well and good to lack the critical thinking skills and ability to question the world around you. You know, making a point about something without falling back on stupid-thinking, personal attack, unsubstantiated bull, and so on.
And I don't want to be that person. But I will be for a few.
Our president makes me scared. Scared like there are things happening that are so big and so bad, that if we weren't such a bunch of complacent, lazy fuckers, we'd probably dismantle our entire government and start over. I just can't help but get the feeling the W is an idiot. I also can't help but get the feeling that the people he is friends with get him to do things that are so incredibly short-sighted and with such long-term potential for disasterous consequences that I can't help but believe we are all pretty much fucked.
And I guess that's 'boogeyman thinking'. But these boogeymen are pretty goddamn evil.

Ups and Downs

I was thinking about going to the doctor today. I changed my mind. I wasn't feeling too hot the last few days, but I have been feeling better and I figured I didn't need to go to the doctor and be told that. I wish that I had felt like this last weekend. It would have made our trip a lot more enjoyable.

Anyway, I'm hungry. I've been hungry a lot lately. I did really well, but I'm afraid as hungry as I've been that I'm gaining weight back. I have to get focused again.

I need to clean up my living space. I'm going to do it in marathon form the next two days. My brother is coming to stay with me and I want things to be in better shape.

I need to work on my website. We got some more nifty software. I better make use of it or I'll get a little pissy. I think I will though. One thing is Paint Shop Pro 9, which has a nice set of features, for jazzing up the look. The other is probably more for the girlfriend. It is Corel's Painter IX. I think I'll enjoy it as well. I don't really know how much applicability it will have to the site per se, but I wanted to have a good all-around painting tool, and I think the girlfriend will enjoy it a lot, given her proclivities.

But, before I can play around with those, I really need to get things in order. Bottom line.

Found Art and the Fine Art of Eavesdropping

So, we went to Santa Barbara for the weekend. Good stuff. I wasn't feeling that well, though, and the girlfriend's shoulder was sore from the uncomfortable bed, so it was a bit of a slow-going weekend for us, but nice no less.

We went to the zoo, we ate at Sambo's, we walked around State Street, and went to dinner at a steak place called Chuck's. Eating, walking, and just enjoying time out of town. The bed and breakfast place was only so-so. I wouldn't recommend it, so I won't mention the name.

We went out to dinner on Friday night at this little pretentious Mexican restaurant, and, while the food was adequate, I was a little put-off by the service. We got seated and waited about 20 mintues for the waitress to take a drink order. Since I wasn't feeling well, it definitely bothered me more than it should have.

We were lucky enough to be seated behind a group of 3, an older couple and their only slightly younger friend. It became clear pretty quickly that the single man was in some stage of a divorce or at least a breakup. I learned more about these strangers than I wanted. We were sort of amused at how judgmental we got listening to his story, and had an insight that we seem to be most of the time when it is a situation like this... overhearing a conversation and plugging in our values and judging the speaker. I don't know if this is easier because we don't know the person, so we have this relatively objective viewpoint in the sense that we have no subjective connection to the content of the speaker's message. I mean we're subjectively placing our own values onto the speaker, but, we're evaluating it from a more objective point of view than were we connected in some way.

Anyway, we heard the whole saga from, "and then the accusations started. 'You wasted 2 and a half years of my life,' she said". Oh my. I can only imagine how unpleasant this poor bugger's breakup has been going. Botton line is though, we were treated to a show of colorful imagery of the demise of this relationship. I feel a little badly for him, but I also feel grateful to him in a way for giving us this unintended window into his current life. We could also have been sitting nearby hearing him speak of the wonderfully overwhelmed state he was in having just fallen in love. But, there's an artistic quality to it which ever way the conversation is going.
Listen. Project your own stuff. Enjoy.